Maybe Tomorrow

All I had with me was my suitcase and the clothes on my back.  I looked straight ahead of me and saw an endless dirt road which extended for miles and miles.  Wearing my lucky old beat up hat and my woollen coat, I left home early that morning to decide my fate.

My day began with breakfast, going to work at the bank and coming home to an all but empty apartment with just my faithful dog for company.  I felt as though I was going through the motions of life and my life resembled watching an old movie or rerun of a television program everyday.  Life became mundane with no challenges ahead and nothing to look forward to.  I got up at the same time every day, went to work, and came home.  I am a bank President.  I run the largest bank in this town.  It is not a very exciting job, but the money is good and it pays for my kid’s school tuition fees and their various extra-curricular activities.  There is even money for my soon to be ex-wife to shop wherever and whenever she wants.

My wife, who never had to work a day in her life, said she was bored and I provided her with no excitement.  She had been going to the gym, working out, and met someone else there.  She decided to take herself and my children and go and live with this total stranger after knowing him for just one month.  She even managed to get herself a job as a copy editor at the local newspaper in the area where she was moving to.  The man she met was the paper’s editor and I cannot see how his job was any more exciting than mine was.  However, he was 10 years younger than me and that seemed to be the draw.

Watching them leave, and feeling a tangled mixture of emotions, I realized that I could not make a difference in other people’s lives.  I needed to start with my own.  Staring into her new paramour’s face as he got into his car with my family, I had an uneasy feeling.  His eyes stared straight at me and his smile was cold and frightening.  He looked evil.  He did not speak directly to me and my kids were shaking with fear. My wife told me it would be better this way and she got into the car and never looked back.

I stood there staring at the back of the car until it disappeared.  I could not believe what had happened nor would I ever believe that I had no choice but to let it.  My children are my life and I cannot think about living the rest of it without them However, Jana felt that since I bored her to death with my day at the bank and nothing much ever happened to excite her during hers, this young guy whose face looked cold and demonic was the right one for her.  It was as if he had her under a spell.

I began to think of places that I could go and where I would spend the rest of my life.  I couldn’t even think that far ahead.  I wandered down the road until I came to a small body of water that was surrounded by trees and grass.  There was no one in sight.  It was pitch black.  The sky was covered with clouds so dark and ominous that I stood frozen to the spot and couldn’t move.  The air was damp and yet I felt nothing.  I was neither hot nor cold.  I felt numb.  Feeling nothing but pain in my heart and fear that someone would finally find me and make me go back to the life I had before, I knew that I had to make a move in some direction.

I began contemplating my next step.  I didn’t know where I was or where the road would lead me.  It was so dark that I decided to stay where I was until morning.  However, that decision was not so easy to fulfil.  I saw a light coming towards me from a distance.  I hid behind a tree, or at least, I tried to, but I was wearing a yellow shirt and the driver must have seen me from a distance.  He got out and walked in my direction.  Being in an isolated area, I didn’t know where to go or where to run.  I just stood there like a statue hoping that I would look like part of the scenery.  As he came closer, I realized that he was a police officer and might recognize me and take me back home.

He drew closer, but, before he could approach close enough to speak I heard the crackling of his radio, and he stopped in his tracks, but not before looking me straight in the eye with his cold eyes and icy stare.  His smile sent chills down my spine and I prayed he would not come any closer.  Suddenly, he tuned and returned to his car and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I thought that for a minute he was the same man who had taken my family away from me.  However, from a distance I could not be sure. I passed the night in that place, rooted to the spot, afraid and unsure of myself. With the coming of daylight I summoned what remained of my courage, and made my way home. That very day, things began to change.

Twitter: @franellena